What Can I Say?

Alright, here’s the post that you want so bad. I told you I get nervous when I write “sappy” stuff… I get nervous from WRITING sappy stuff that sometimes you don’t even see. Seriously? I don’t even have to be with you in person and I get nervous, like the fuck. I know I’m shy and I do that with girls I like but it’s honestly never been this bad before. It makes me feel so pathetic too. I hate it. And writing this for you, like I don’t even want to post it cause I don’t want you too see it. I don’t like people knowing how much I like them cause it makes me feel weird, like I feel creppy. I’m always afraid of telling people how I feel too cause I get scared that they won’t feel the same way or not as much as I do. A prime example: when I made the mistake of asking you out last February after you and Potassium broke up. God that was so stupid of me.  I knew I should have waited like a month or something. Why would anyone ask someone out after they just ended something a week later. SO STUPID. And if I really wanted to be with you I shouldn’t have done it over god damn text messaging. Ugh. I hate this. After that I have been so scared to even say something to you. I’ve wanted to ask you out again after that but I never got the courage to actually do it. And I kinda regret it too, cause then I had to sit there and watch you date other people, resulting in being hurt.. again. That’s not fun. Most of the time for me, I’ll leave. Like I’ll stop liking the person and we’ll just become good friends and that’s basically what we are, we’re good friends. I cheer you up and you cheer me up.. But I still haven’t stopped liking you. I actually think I hate how much I like you. I don’t know what it is, but I you’re different then every other girl I’ve talk too. That sounds so cliche but I can’t help it. maybe it’s cause you just kind of shock me with something new all the time. Like how you’re a sex freak, or how much love you have for people. You’re probably one of the most loving person I know. Last night I was talking about you too Ashley, and asked me, she was like “Why dont yall just like… be together already” People ask me that or tell me to be with you all the time. It kinda makes me sad cause my answer EVERY FUCKING TIME is just “IDK”. That’s depressing that I know how why I’m not with you. Then someone will ask well is she single? It’s the same answer again of idk. Oh well how do I not know if the girl I like is single or not. Maybe cause I never actually know what’s going on with you. I keep my distance, I never ask cause it’s never any of my business. And if I find out that you are I just think to myself that maybe they make you happier, or you like them more. So I just tell myself it’s ok. She’s happy. That’s the main goal, too make sure you’re happy. I know that there are better people out there. I’m a screw up. I don’t really know what else too say.